We all get hit by life’s slings and arrows from time to time. They can come from a resident critic—a family member, friend, or co-worker who always finds something wrong—or as the occasional put-down that catches you by surprise. What do you do when an insult is hurled your way, privately or publicly? Do you pretend you didn’t hear it or hurl an insult right back? Do you internalize it or get angry and lash out?
You may not be able to stop someone’s nasty words or careless actions, but you can change how you deal with those barbs. They don’t have to take you down or tempt you to retaliate.
Look, not everyone’s going to like you (or me). That’s reality. Different strokes for different folks.
But if you want to create anything meaningful in this world, it’s important to develop your own winning strategy for handling criticism. Both tactically and emotionally.
Because it will happen. Some criticism will contain valuable insights for positive growth, and much of it will not.
So, how do you cope with criticism?
I can let critical, rude remarks cut me to my core, so I start to doubt and question myself, and feel like running and hiding out.
If I let them.
Thankfully, now, I have a much different outlook towards criticism and the way I deal with it.
How do I cope with criticism?
I follow the: Who; What; How method.
Who is the criticism coming from?
What are they criticising? Is it relevant to me? Or is it their stuff?
How will I react/respond?
Using this method, should give you a far better approach and outcome, should you ever find yourself in the firing line of criticism, as my mentor did:
Who: Be totally clear on your ideal client and what he/she needs and appreciates, and aim to serve them and ONLY them. Trying to serve everyone will result in your being of service to no-one. Be of service to YOUR ideal client and don’t worry about what other people think.
What: Don’t take criticism personally. The critical (and nasty) comments people make are a direct reflection of where THEY are in their life journey. They are NOT about you.
Try this: Pull away from the situation and look at it without ego, as if you were observing someone else’s life. Is it possible you are being overly sensitive, or has someone treated you like a doormat without good reason? A clear sense of which it is will help you find the best solution.
How: You are always ‘at choice.’ Meaning that you are free to make a decision as to whether you’re going to accept the criticism and make changes. Or not. The decision is yours.
Take action, which can sometimes mean ignoring(don’t give it much thought) the comments. And, move on.
So, if you’ve found yourself at the prickly end of someone’s criticism, use the Who; What; and How method – it really works!
Then, remember to move on!
Now, I’d love to hear from you.
How do you deal with criticism in your life? Or are there any really priceless comments, tweets or shares that you’ve gotten that now make you laugh? Let me know in the comments below.
Remember, share with as much love and compassion as you can.
Love & Brilliance!